He makes me proud.

Grandson, although my world may be falling apart he still makes me proud and remember the love I still have in me to give.

We are okay, somethings that troubled us is out of the way.  I have not heard anything from the parents, and I check and call everyday to see if they have filed anything.  It's a real nonsense way of living.  We done exhausted all of our savings, it went fast, so I don't have any funds for hiring an attorney for Grandson.  I just keep doing what I can for him.

At home, all is fine.

Yesterday was Tawnchi's Birthday.

He would have been 24 years.  Unfortunately with my memory problems, I think dreams of him have vanished.  I am sad about that, and most disturbing is I know how I lost him but the feelings are not there anymore.  Even the anger towards the estranged deceased spouse.  All is gone, but my love for Tawnchi is still there.

There is a boy at the Dojang, a little bit more chunkier than Tawnchi, but he looks just like him.  I smile everytime I see him.  He makes me happy inside.

TK in Cheyenne

I learned today TK was in Cheyenne, Wy., with his sister.  We knew he was going to go up there one day eventually.  His sister has been asking him to go live with him, so he went. 

TK went Missing.

Troy, of all things that are going wrong this week.  I guess in TK's eyes we haven't had enough.  Wednesday night he said he had to leave by 9pm.  I asked him if he was going to have dinner and he said no.  It was hubby's birthday dinner. 

After everyone was settling down for the eve, I went into the garage and I saw TK folding his gi and putting it in the bag.  Later hubs said he was leaving because he threw away a lot of his clothes.  I smiled at TK and asked him if he was leaving and he said no.  He was just cleaning out his clothes and those have gotten small.  I thought nothing of it.

I was still awake at 1:30am, and I texted him.  He said he would be back in the morning to take care of his ID problem. I said ok.  Next day, I tried and tried to text him but he wouldn't text back.  Tonight, after being so worried we filed a missing person report.  About half hour later the police said he was out partying.  About ten minutes later TK texted and said he was ok and don't worry about him.

We called the people who we thought might know his whereabouts and told them he was ok.

So UPSET!!

Although it been a couple of days ago, I think.  I went to court with Danielle.  Grandson's mom, she put a restraining order using my son's death as a reason to remove my Grandson from me.  OH!  Disgusting things they wrote...  I just looked passed their complaint and told my husband I am ready to go.  Don't worry about it, I got it covered.

I cried and held on to Grandson through the night.  I wasn't sure if I would be able to perform well under stress.  But I did, the case got dismissed.  I do, I do check the website every night now to see if they have filed a new complaint against me.  The only one hurting here the most is Grandson.

My emotions has been all crazy lately, knowing one day I might have to give him back.  I have about 20% chance of keeping him every time they pull a sneaky one on me.  I know Danielle didn't write that, I know she had Ramona do it, because the writing sure doesn't sound like her, and I don't think she will ever say things like that.  She is submissive, I think she got put up to this.

As if, I have nothing to worry about.  TK went out last night and I have not heard from him since 2am.  Usually when I text him he would text within half hours time.  Now, I don't know where he is, but he is 18 and I see he took some of his personal belongings.  I think he went to stay over night at someone's like a girlfriend, or friends.  I just don't understand why he never texted me back twice today.  I just hope he is okay.  But he did see his cousin that day at the court, and when we were leaving I saw TK walking back from a different direction.  So, he could be with his cousin too.  Hard to say, he plays on both sides and a good story teller...  I have to say, he is 18 and it's his business what his doing not mine.  But it would be nice if he just said I'll see you in a few days or so.  Instead of telling us he will be back in a couple of hours.

I have a photo session tomorrow and another this weekend.  It's okay, but it's nice to do work when you want to.

Happening?

Gotta love my kidney stones..lol

The boys have been real sweet with me during the Mother's Day time, and Rey's Birthday..  We saw movies and did things.  It's hard to get back into the routine once you get spoiled some.

Grandpa is moving around more, and doesn't look tired all of the time.  He ha a couple more surgeries to go plus his  hernia and knee.

I photographed a lady from Brazil and she brought me a gift from there.  We have been emailing and she wanted me to take photographs of her.  She teaches YOGA in Brazil.  So it was great to meet her and able to chat with her.

I took a few tumbles on my own.. thank you Vertigo, love you much.. I fractured my rib, but it's not so bad.  Hurts, but what doesn't? ha

Ah, let's see what have I done lately?  IN photography, my work can be seen in ABQ.  I took the local top hiphop station their photo, so that's up.  I did that band, and they say they were honored to be photographed by me...  Ahhh.. I don't remember what else.. but I know there's more.  lol, not that much.  But I'm getting there..

Hubby's Heart Surgery

IT'S DONE!!  Finally!  He had it done at the VA Hospital here in Albuquerque, NM.  I paced and paced, and tossed and turn all night.  Well, actually I spent the night on the couch, I couldn't sleep and too anxious to sleep.. too worried.

The procedure was simple and fast, they just did the robotic thing.. I dunno what it was called I didn't pay attention.  I really hit MENOPAUSEY!!!  So many things on my mind, he's a big boy, and he can handle.. so my ears and mind was shut that day.  Anyway, they cut a little incision on his wrist, stuck a thingy in there and cleaned out his arteries and put a thing like a mesh.. a couple of times, then it was done..  2hrs, max only because he couldn't calm down..  Some stupid doctor in Farmington told him, sometimes mistakes happened and Uh oh.. games over bud. 

Some things are coming off the THINGS TO DO list.  One more thing to worry about, which I hear I shouldn't be.  It's damn embarassing, but what the heck.  I told him plain and simple, you created the problem you figure it out.  A lot has been on my mind, and I mean a whole lot.

The farm, I paid my cousin to take care of it, and told mom I will send her money now and then to check on it.  Grateful I am.  She asked me when am I coming to see the farm, I told her when I can.  When I can.

Right now, things are a bit hard, just a bit hard.  It's okay, it'll pick up once again.